


Insomniac [REWRITE]

by kihyxns



Series: Insomniac [9]
Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Insomniac!Junhoe, M/M, Multi, general fluff and some sadness, this is a rewrite of my original insomniac purely for jake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 09:00:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12186951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kihyxns/pseuds/kihyxns
Summary: Junhoe never really knew what to do when his insomnia hit him like the ever so soft metaphorical brick that he was just waiting for. Everything changed, his mood, his level of irritability, even the relationships between him and the rest of iKON shifted. It seemed like everything had suddenly hit standstill on the reappearance of the used to be childhood insomnia that left him nearly crippled mentally.If it wasn't for his members rallying around him in a time of desperate need then he doesn't know what he would have done. Luckily for him, they always knew how to treat him right.





	Insomniac [REWRITE]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hoseoksbf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoseoksbf/gifts).



> so. this is different to usual. it is one of closests mutuals birthday's today and as a gift i decided to rewrite an old insomniac of mine for him. so happy birthday jake, even though you don't stan/like iKON that much !
> 
> trigger warnings:  
> this is just a lil sad there's nothng major
> 
> PLEASE leave a comment or kudos, it makes my day, i promise !!

_\- for jake_

Junhoe never really knew what to do when his insomnia hit him like the ever so soft metaphorical brick that he was just waiting for. Everything changed, his mood, his level of irritability, even the relationships between him and the rest of iKON shifted. It seemed like everything had suddenly hit standstill on the reappearance of the used to be childhood insomnia that left him nearly crippled mentally.

If it wasn't for his members rallying around him in a time of desperate need then he doesn't know what he would have done. Luckily for him, they always knew how to treat him right.

1\. - Jiwon

Junhoe and Jiwon were never awkward, but the need for viewers to forget they were watching a survival show made them. WIN and MIX&MATCH not only decided who debuted but also the awkwardness that would linger between the two of them after it finished. They got over it in the dorms, Jiwon was always the type of person to initiate skinship whenever, whereas Junhoe wasn't always a fan. They had the occasional clash but who didn't, iKON seemed to be formed with opposing personalities, they had all known that from the start, and somehow they made it work.

Yet is wasn't overnight, especially in Jiwon and Junhoe's case.

It takes a long time before Junhoe is willing to let Jiwon in on his sleepless nights. In the beginning only Jinhwan and Yunhyeong were privy, and that was only because they'd dubbed themselves the 'mothers of iKON', plus they had also promised Junhoe's parents that they'd look after him when his insomnia flared. Slowly but surely he widened his circle to Hanbin, then Donghyuk, Chanwoo a little after and finally Jiwon.

Jiwon always assumed that it was because MIX&MATCH had made them so damn awkward, why Junhoe never wanted to share the burden of terrible nights of sleep and everything that followed along with it. He now knows it was because Junhoe knew how much he had to deal with, living across the globe from his family, having to adjust to life back in Korea along with everything else he had on his plate. He just didn't want to add on another burden. Jiwon vividly remembers finding out from Jinhwan, who urged him to make it right.

It was late night, the repetitive sound of the shower playing in the background. Jiwon gave up his positioning in the shower queue, too riled up from the lengthy dance practice. He clicked on a random TV channel and let it play, not really caring what is on. Excluding Junhoe, the maknae line decided to eat before showering, who were now busy eating their noodles in silence. Jinhwan and Yunhyeong are off, probably waiting for the bathroom. Junhoe slumps down on  
the sofa, propping his body upright as he tries to focus on the TV.

Jiwon turns, stopping playing with whatever on his phone. He's pretty sure that Junhoe is going to fall asleep soon, after a while he's noticed certain things -that signal when Junhoe is actually about to fall asleep. This seems like one of those nights. He looks over at the younger, seeing how he's scrunched up on the sofa, his neck and back in a bad position. Jiwon isn't about to let Junhoe sleep like that and get a horrific crick in his back the next morning, he'll be complaining about it all day. Instead he signals for Junhoe to lie his head in his lap, patting softly his own thighs.

"I don't want to hear you complaining all day tomorrow, just lie down," Jiwon says as Junhoe hesitates, not really knowing what to do, "man I don't bite, I'm also your hyung, do what I say,"

Jiwon pulls the 'hyung' card, which is a rarity among the maknae line because he never fully understood the whole age hierarchy, but was still forced to use it in everyday life. Luckily Junhoe submits then, lying his head down on Jiwon's lap, letting out a breath of complete contentment.

"See, everything's better when you listen to your hyung," Jiwon chuckles as he lazily threads his fingers through Junhoe's slightly sweaty hair.

"Hanbin-hyung says you couldn't look after a glass of water without spilling it," Junhoe replies sleepily, slowly turning his body to get into the most comfortable position.

"Well we don't always have to listen to what Hanbin says do we?"

"Yeah, y'know, he'll just shout at us if we don't," Junhoe laughs back, finally getting settled.

"Aish, sleep well Junhoe-ah," Jiwon says instead, seeing that Junhoe's eyelids keep closing automatically.

It seems to be from that night onwards things steadily improve. Junhoe stops hiding from Jiwon when his insomnia hits badly, but only shows it little by little (which frustrates Jiwon to no end, but he puts up with it because it's Junhoe). Yet the inevitable breakdown happens when everyone is out.

Hanbin has holed himself up in the studio, Jinhwan has flown back to Jeju for a couple days, Yunhyeong, Chanwoo and Donghyuk are all at some filming that's running through the night. It's only Jiwon and Junhoe left at home. When everyone else left, Junhoe went into his room and Jiwon took that as a sign of 'please leave me alone,' so didn't do anything about it. But now it's getting late and he needs to ask Junhoe if he wants to shower now or in the morning, also if he ate yet because Jiwon has the suspicion that he hasn't.

"Junhoe-yah, have y-," Jiwon mentally curses at himself for not knocking because he walks in on Junhoe shrouded by sheets, huddled up in his bed.

A big part of him wants to just walk and leave it to Yunhyeong when he gets back. But Yunhyeong won't be back for a couple hours, and Jiwon is the hyung, he should know how to handle the situation. Plus the old Jiwon would have walked, and he doesn't want to be that guy anymore.

"Junhoe-ah?" Jiwon tries again, carefully approaching the lump of blankets that is currently Koo Junhoe, and sitting down next to it.

"Hyung?" It comes out as merely as whisper, but Jiwon hears it.

"Yeah, I'm right here, not going anywhere," Jiwon says with finality, gripping onto the top of one of the blankets.

"I don't feel great," Junhoe replies in a whine, peeking out of the blankets a little.

"In what way?" Jiwon asks, taking to rubbing soothing hands over Junhoe's blanketed back.

"Sorta dizzy, and I've got a headache," Junhoe replies, still not moving much.

"How much did you sleep last night,"

"I didn't,"

Jiwon doesn't even respond with anger, the mere phrase not even being a surprise anymore.

"And the night before,"

"Maybe a couple hours,"

"It's only sleep deprivation then, it'll pass in a couple hours,"

"I want it to pass now,"

"So do I kiddo, that's not how the world works, do you want any painkillers or anything?"

"Yeah hyung, if you don't mind,"

Jiwon leaves with a 'I'll be back soon,' quickly going off to find Junhoe painkillers and a less scratchy blanket. He returns with said blanket chucked over his shoulder, a glass of water in one hand, the painkillers in another, and sets them down on the bedside table. Junhoe still resides under the covers, hiding himself from any bright (ish) lights.

"Junhoe-ah, do you need me to turn all the lights off,"

"Please,"

"Once I do it you better let me under those blankets, it's cold and you've taken nearly all of them," Jiwon jokes, going around and turning all the lights off.

Junhoe is slightly out of the covers this time, his head cushioned on a pillow. He's obviously moved over to allow Jiwon to sit down next to him, which he does. Jiwon positions himself against the headboard, his thigh touching Junhoe's arm.

"Dude you've gotta sit up if you're going to get these pills down you,"

"I'm comfortable,"

"You sure look like it,"

Junhoe groans and levers himself up on his forearms, sitting upright next to Jiwon. He takes both painkillers in quick succession, downing the rest of the water as he does so. He then doesn't really know what to do; be slightly more comfortable laid fully in bed, or continue to sit upright and talk to Jiwon until he passes out. He guesses Jiwon sees his confusion and clasps an arm around him, drawing him close. They end up with Junhoe leaning against Jiwon's chest, one of Jiwon's arms rested nicely around Junhoe's waist.

"Comfortable?" Jiwon asks in a chuckle, seeing Junhoe already letting his eyes slip shut.

Junhoe just replies with a small hum of yes, relishing in the feeling of Jiwon running his fingers through his hair. He thinks that he falls asleep around then, letting himself drift off into the warmth and security Jiwon brings..

When he wakes he's still laid against Jiwon, except Hanbin is back and is currently in hushed conversation with him.

"How long did it take for him to drop off?"

"Not long, about ten minutes,"

"Miracle, that's nearly a record,"

"I have that effect Hanbin-ah,"

"Let him sleep a little longer, Yunhyeong-hyung, and the maknae's are on their way back, they'll be here soon. I think they're coming back with takeaway,"

"I don't know if he'll want to eat anything, but Yunhyeong will want to see him so we'll have to wake him up when they get here,"

"Yeah, cherish the last moments of peace Jiwon,"

"You know I always do,"

Junhoe guesses that Hanbin leaves then, if the click of the door is anything to indicate. Jiwon resumes rubbing circular patterns on his jutted hip bone, mindlessly falling back into the quiet rise and fall of Junhoe's breathing..

Soon Yunhyeong walks in with two tired maknaes in tow, bringing a small hoard of food with him. He decides against the table, Jinhwan isn't home, plus no one bothered to put the plates out anyway. Instead he lets the maknaes go find the rest of the members and grabs some cutlery. They all end up in a pile of limbs in Hanbin, Junhoe and Donghyuk's room, eating probably cold takeaway and making Jinhwan slightly jealous of his disappearance to Jeju.

Junhoe looks around to Jiwon, despite all their forced awkwardness and unspoken issues he always knows that he can take a damn good nap in his arms.

2\. - Chanwoo

Ever since they were trainees together Junhoe and Chanwoo had this system. One to ten. It made it easier to communicate how they were feeling without attracting unwanted attention from their hyungs. Usually it was a, 'how do you feel?' 'how bad do you feel today?' 'how tired are you?'

Chanwoo adored the method they'd adopted, it meant him and Junhoe got closer and that's all he had wanted. Junhoe liked it because it required little verbal confirmation about how he felt. His hyungs always wanted to know 'how bad?' 'how much?' 'how tired?' and it always meant a lot of words. He hated the detail. With Chanwoo it was simple, just one little number could determine how he felt.

And that's how they went on. Chanwoo would ask in the morning and the evening if he got the chance, Junhoe would ask whenever he saw Chanwoo a little too worse for wear. The hyungs never quite seemed to catch onto it either, which just made the whole situation just that tiny bit better.

Chanwoo remembers when he wasn't fully aware of Junhoe's insomnia. That grey area full of harshly ended conversations and midnight shifts. He did ask Yunhyeong what was going on when he was sick of almost being 'left out' of the elephant in the room. However he just got a reply of 'you don't need to know, let the hyungs deal with it.' He had felt demoralising and humiliating. He wasn't trusted in on this seemly very important secret? Everything sort of collapsed then, between him and his hyungs. Junhoe himself finally came forward, but it was mostly because he had to, not because he wanted to, things had gotten that bad.

_;_

_It was late. Exhausted and drained, they all managed to get back to the dorm in one piece. Jinhwan had stumbled into the shower on tired legs, they all knew it would take a while for everyone to be washed and ready for bed. Hanbin rarely sent his maknaes on errands that he didn't want to do, but seeing the state of the hyung line plus Donghyuk he decided to give into his want this one time._

_"June-ah, go down to the corner store and buy something to eat for us," Hanbin had asked from his place at their table._

_"Okay hyung, I'll take Chanwoo-ah with me," Junhoe had replied, surprisingly compliant. Maybe it was the fact that Hanbin had that complete look of exhaustion hollowed into his eyes that persuaded him into it._

_"Chanwoo-ya, come with me to the corner store?" Junhoe asked again as he walked past Chanwoo to grab his jacket._

_"Sure hyung," Chanwoo replied, putting his shoes straight back on._

_After they had pulled their jackets and shoes on again, and Hanbin had gave them his card to use, they were off. It definitely wasn't a long walk from the dorm, something that YG had got right when placing them here, but Junhoe used it as a good opportunity to explain what had been going on with him._

_"Chanwoo, you know I don't mean to hide anything from you?"_

_"Yes hyung,"_

_"I just almost don't want to involve you in all of this,"_

_"No one has told me what 'all of this' is though," Chanwoo replied, seeing it as fit to drop honourifics for a bit._

_"Chanwoo. I have insomnia," Junhoe blurts out, knowing that he would have to expose the fact to him at some point soon._

_"Oh," Chanwoo replies, a look of understanding painting itself onto his face.. That's why conversations about it were cut off, why it was 'the hyung's job to deal with'._

_"I didn't want to burden you with it, at all? I didn't mean to cut you out and make everything frosty with the hyungs, I just couldn't let you get too involved in case you got hurt by it all,"_

_"I just wish I knew hyung,"_

_"I wish I had told you sooner, I wasn't gonna tell you until I figured out how to make it better, but since everything fell apart with you and the hyungs, I couldn't let it go any further. Just understand that I didn't want you in the dark because I don't think you can handle it. You can, I just don't think you should have to,"_

_"It'll be okay though, everything gets better,"_

_"You're not mad?"_

_"I could never be mad,"_

_;_

A few days after Junhoe had revealed his insomnia, Chanwoo approached him after practice. They were all walking out to the cars, Hanbin and Jinhwan up front with the two maknaes dragging their feet behind.

"On a scale of one to ten, how tired are you?" Chanwoo asked, offhand.

"About an eight, you?"

"I guess six or seven,"

From then it started to stick. After every practice it would be 'one to ten' and Junhoe found that he wasn't mad at it. It was a stringless way to figure out how they both felt. It worked well.

They'd both been using the phrase for a couple months now, casually throwing it back and forth whenever it was needed. Neither of them had gotten above an eight until Junhoe called a full blown eleven after a day with two concerts.

Chanwoo had learnt that an insomniac is never really not tired, its constant, but even after intense practices and jam packed days nothing has ever hit an eleven. Junhoe still asks back and he replies, albeit shakily, with a nine..

"Woah, let's quickly go back to the hotel then," Junhoe answers back, hurrying to change out of his stage outfit.

"I'm more worried about you than me right now hyung," Chanwoo says, matching Junhoe's speed in changing.

"I'm good, still going off the adrenaline, Jinhwan looks like he's about to drop as well, we'll be quick," Junhoe dismisses Chanwoo's worry and hands his clothes back to the stylists. Chanwoo does the same, still keeping a close eye on Junhoe as he does.

They gather all of their stuff and leave the venue in record time. Hanbin seems the most alert out of them all, guiding them easily into the van and back to the hotel. Chanwoo is grateful for the warm hand on his back from Yunhyeong, pushing him gently to the elevator. They all go up in one go, not caring about how sweaty they all are, or how crowded the lift is with them all in it.

It's when they get to their floor. Junhoe seems to lag a little. Maybe it was the adrenaline suddenly wearing off that caused it, but one second he's stood upright, walking towards their clustered hotel rooms, and the next he's completely out on the ground, going down with a heavy thump.

"Jesus Christ," Hanbin exclaims, running forward to Junhoe's sprawled body.

"He must have been so exhausted, we did play a double concert," Jinhwan supplies, cupping one of Junhoe's cheeks as he does.

None of them are strangers to Junhoe suddenly collapsing, after multiple concerts, music shows, even long dance practices, he's passed out many a time. Hanbin just manages to pick him up off the floor and deposit him in the nearest room.

"Okay, Chanwoo stay with June, everyone else go get showered and we'll just order room service," Hanbin commands from his position at the foot of the bed.. The rest disperse, leaving Chanwoo and Hanbin sitting with an unconscious Junhoe.

"Hey," he speaks, getting Chanwoo's attention, "we won't be long, look after him, okay?"

"Okay hyung," Chanwoo responds, getting himself situated at the headboard.

Hanbin leaves then, allowing a quiet moment to squeeze between the ever widening gaps of noise and chaos. Chanwoo slides Junhoe over his shoulder, letting his head roll into the juncture of his neck and shoulder. He picks his phone out of his pocket and lies there for a bit, allowing the calm movements of Junhoe's chest to soothe any worries he has.

"Y'know soon we'll figure out how to make this all better hyung, then you won't pass out a lot," Chanwoo says absentmindedly, running his hands back and forth over Junhoe's arm.

From then on he's pretty sure that his head falls onto the crown of Junhoe's and stays there for the meantime. He slips into sleep easily, even with the bright lights still on. At some point he feels a blanket being pulled over the both of them, the lights dimming as well.

"Aish, they fell asleep so quickly,"

"Leave them be Hanbin-ah, it's rare for them both to sleep together like this,"

"Plus it's good blackmail,"

If Chanwoo hears anything he doesn't respond, just letting his lips curl upwards that little bit more.

3\. - Yunhyeong

Ever since Junhoe finally confessed to them that yes he was an insomniac and that was the reason he was acting so weirdly around them, things have been different. Immediately he got sent off to various doctors who tried to sort out the problem, then psychiatrists, even nutritionists who played around with his diet for weeks on end. In the end they stuck him on sleeping pills, and occasionally caffeine pills when he needed to be alert, and that was that. Nothing got solved and it just made Junhoe's life a little less bearable for a bit.

It is no secret that Junhoe hates the therapist he is required to see at least once a week when possible, and also the rigorous medication cycle he's been put on. Yet he still pushes everyone away, deciding to take it all on himself. He refuses anyone's help multiple times, and eventually they leave him be.

That doesn't mean that they don't keep an eye on him. They were all hesitant on letting Junhoe take full control of his treatment, especially Jinhwan and Yunhyeong. They check in on him everyday, just in case.

Yet today seemed like one of those days, which were becoming frighteningly more frequent, that Junhoe just couldn't cope with **everything**.

"Junhoe-ah?" Yunhyeong calls from the slightly open doorway. Light streams into the room from the brightly lit hallway, allowing him to see Junhoe, curled up in bed. Still.

"Hm?" Junhoe murmurs from under the sheets, not bothering to turn his head around to fully answer Yunhyeong.

"We've got to leave for our schedule in an half an hour, if you don't wake up now you won't be ready on time," Yunhyeong says, slowly walking inside the room.

"Give me five minutes, promise I'll be up hyung," Junhoe replies, moving slightly in place.

"If you say so," Yunhyeong sighs, moving out of the room and shutting the door behind him.

"Still not getting up?" Jinhwan asks from his seat at the table. His hand is on Donghyuk's thigh, tapping when he nearly falls asleep straight into his breakfast.

"He said five minutes," Yunhyeong replies anxiously, staying put by the door..

"Okay, just see how he is, it might be one of those days y'know," Jinhwan answers, letting Donghyuk rest his head on his shoulder.

"What's up maknae-ah, didn't sleep well?" Yunhyeong chuckles, moving from his place at the door to ruffle Donghyuk's hair.

"Hyung," Donghyuk starts, pulling the 'g', "we got in at like 3AM,"

"I know, I know, few more days," Yunhyeong responds, leaning against a kitchen countertop.

"Also Chanwoo is younger than me,"

"Yeah, but you'll always be one of our maknaes Donghyukkie," Jinhwan answers in the space of Yunhyeong, wrapping a strong arm around Donghyuk's back.

It's that moment when another one of their maknaes appears from the bedroom, his hair sticking up in every different direction, clothes wrinkled, tossed and turned in. Yunhyeong quickly approaches the younger, Jinhwan seeing it as a sign to keep Donghyuk occupied with little forehead kisses.

"Are you okay?" Yunhyeong asks, putting both his hands on Junhoe's shoulders..

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," Junhoe answers, slightly pushing Yunhyeong away as he does.

Yunhyeong takes it to be one of 'those' days and doesn't press, just allowing him to sit down with Jinhwan and Donghyuk. Instead he checks in on Chanwoo who is now completely dressed and ready, he just needs to eat breakfast. Hanbin and Jiwon will be ready once they get their damn clothes on, it's just Junhoe that they're sort of waiting on.

It seems that when he reenters the kitchen Chanwoo has joined Donghyuk, and Jinhwan is coaxing Junhoe into his outfit for today. Yunhyeong can see that he can handle it, leaving them be for the time being. Hanbin and Jiwon are finally fully ready now, quickly shovelling down whatever breakfast they can find before they have to leave. Their manager comes to pick them up barely minutes after Junhoe is ready, rushing them into the car as he does.

Junhoe doesn't eat breakfast and has that eerie zoned-out look in his eyes as he gets in the car. Yunhyeong practically feels the day go downhill before it starts.

Luckily the only thing they have scheduled is a magazine shoot, the interview is later on in the week so all they really have to worry about is looking good for the camera, which is something they can do. Yunhyeong is still worried about Junhoe, magazine shoots are usually very loud and busy, never stopping for even a second. Plus Junhoe doesn't like being overwhelmed by lots of sounds. So Yunhyeong keeps an eye on him, just in case.

Junhoe feels this fuzzy sort of disorientation at the back of his skull. He feels pushed right onto the edge of the normal, the absolute extreme. Camera flashes irritate his peripheral vision as he waits his turn. All he wants to do it get away from it all. But that's an impossible wish right now, because he's got to wait for three other people to be done with their individual shoot so he can have his and then take multiple group shots after. He can feel Yunhyeong's eyes on him as he waits, so he stays still, and just pretends that he doesn't feel the sinking feeling that's flowing through his veins.

It seems like forever until he's being instructed on how to pose and look for this damn group shot. The photographer wants it a very certain way and he can't seem to achieve his minds image. Junhoe almost wants to storm off, gather up his stuff and just go home, but that would cause a scene and he never likes to cause a insomnia related scene. Even as his chest tightens more and more as the seconds pass he just keeps his mouth sealed shut, allowing the photographer to take his damn time.

Yunhyeong can almost feel how uncomfortable Junhoe is. Three members stand between them but he just knows that face that Junhoe pulls on when gets like this. He'll say absolutely nothing to anyone, keeping completely silent, but Yunhyeong can read him better than he thinks.

"Junhoe-ssi, relax more!" the photographer shouts from his position, as he alternates from taking pictures to looking at the massive screen that they're displayed on.

Junhoe immediately slumps forward, putting more of his weight on Jinhwan's shoulder. 'Just a few more minutes, just a few more minutes,' he chants within his head, making sure to smile at the camera.

"Okay, cut! That's it, good job,"

"Thank you for your hard work!" the members chant back, Junhoe's voice faltering as he breaks off from the line, bowing as he rushes to the waiting rooms.

Jinhwan shoots Yunhyeong that look of 'go after him before Hanbin fucks it up,' and he responds quickly, placing a calming hand on the leaders shoulder before going after Junhoe. When he catches up Junhoe is messily playing with his fingers, raking a hand through the hair that took nearly an hour to perfect. Yunhyeong just manoeuvres Junhoe into a nearby seat and takes his hands out of his hair.

"Calm down you, tell me where your stuff is and I'll get it for you," Yunhyeong says softly, replacing Junhoe's hands in his hair with his own.

"Sorry," Junhoe replies, shakily.

"For what baby?" Yunhyeong lets the term of endearment slip out, knowing that Junhoe likes it secretly.

"For me,"

Yunhyeong opens his mouth to reply but thinks better of it, instead letting Junhoe fiddle with his hands. He just wraps one arm around his shoulder and squeezes before going off to gather anything they brought with them. Eventually the rest of the members trickle in, changing out of their outfits and back into comfortable clothes. Donghyuk presses his warm, comfortable hoodie into Junhoe's arms, letting him wear it home instead of the jacket he brought with him. Donghyuk knows better than to expect a reply, just giving in a little pat on his arm before moving to help Chanwoo find his headphones.

At one point Junhoe goes off and changes back into Donghyuk's hoodie and his jeans, handing back the crinkly shirt, and the probably too tight jeans he was given. He sees Donghyuk move around in the way too big jacket that he likes to wear sometimes and feels sort of guilty for taking the hoodie, but when he sees Donghyuk flash a wide smile the feeling almost dissipates. Almost.

The second they get home Junhoe immediately collapses into bed, letting the darkness of his shared bedroom encompass him into some sort of dazed state. It's not sleep but it doesn't feel like he's awake either so he'll take it. He can't tell how long they leave him for, but it's long enough for the dizzying feeling of disorientation to fade into a dull ache at the back of his skull. Instead of dealing with the feeling he just buries his head under the covers and lies there with a sense of exhaustion flowing through him.

Yunhyeong sits through a silent late night dinner. Junhoe has holed himself up in his room, and no one wants to disturb him, so they eat in a moderately comfortable silence. Jinhwan makes the first move, ordering Chanwoo and Donghyuk off to bed after they've had a shower. Hanbin pads off to his studio, taking Jiwon with him. Neither Yunhyeong or Jinhwan stop them, knowing that it'd probably be better for them to go and work off the build up of stretched out creativity that has been accumulating across the days.

However Yunhyeong finishes the day like he started it, by opening the door into Junhoe's room. He peeks in, seeing the lump of sheets and duvet that is currently Koo Junhoe, and retreats, coming back with some painkillers and water before he decides to fill venture in. He leaves Jinhwan to handle to two maknaes, who, for once, are refusing to go to bed. Yunhyeong just sends him a smile as Donghyuk hangs off his arm, working his way into the mat-hyung's lap.

"Junhoe-ah?" Yunhyeong asks the darkness that he walks into.

Avoiding responding, Junhoe instead sticks his hand out of the duvet and shakes it a little, signalling that he's alive, but maybe not so well. Yunhyeong sets the glass down on the bedside table, taking a seat next to, what he presumes to be, Junhoe's legs.

"Hyung?" Junhoe questions, his voice cracking and muffled.

"It's me Junhoe-ah," Yunhyeong replies smoothly, waiting for Junhoe to emerge from his hoard of duvet.

They sit in silence for a while, Yunhyeong absentmindedly starts running his hands up and down the curve of Junhoe's left knee, soothing the situation.

"Hyung I am sorry," Junhoe starts, his voice already stuttering.

"For what exactly?" Yunhyeong questions, slightly confused.

"Well today, you seemed on edge because of me,"

"That's only because I care so much about you,"

"Really?"

"What do you mean by really, we all care so much June-ah,"

"I just seen to cause you all trouble,"

"In what way?" Yunhyeong enquiries, gently placing a hand on the edge of the duvet, luring Junhoe out.

"Today you and Jinhwan seemed worried all day, and Donghyuk gave up his hoodie for me even though it's one of his favourites. I probably pushed Hanbin-hyung out the dorm as well," Junhoe starts rambling and Yunhyeong cuts him off.

"You do realise we do all those things, and more, because we want to? Not because we have to,"

"What?" Junhoe takes a step and peaks his head out of the covers, giving a confused glance to Yunhyeong.

"If Donghyuk didn't want to give up his hoodie he wouldn't have, if no one cared about you then the dorm would be as loud and noisy as anything right now. Hanbin only left because you know he still worries about doing something wrong and making you worse, he left so he didn't accidentally make things any worse. Junhoe-ah, we love you, when will you understand that?"

That final sentiment is all it takes for Junhoe to pull back his covers and fall straight into Yunhyeong's arms. The elder embraces him warmly, not really caring that Junhoe has him a very uncomfortable position.

"I love you all too,"

"We know June-ah, we know,"

4\. - Donghyuk

When things get bad, even when things are good, Junhoe is still probably the lightest sleeper in the dorm. He hasn't slept well for a few days, which just increases the level of interruption he goes through. A lot of things could wake him, the beeping of the fridge when the temperature gets too high, the light from the kitchen when someone needs a midnight snack, even noise from the cars outside. No matter how little it has, and if not will, have woken Junhoe up at one point.

Tonight it's the click of the door as someone walks in way too late, or even too early. Junhoe first hears the small mechanical bleeps of the pin pad as their security code gets put in (150915 - but no one would guess that) then the small click as whoever decided to come in now shut the door as quietly as possible. Junhoe just runs a hand through his bed hair, immediately knowing that he won't be getting back to sleep anytime soon.

God knows why Donghyuk decided to strip his own, Hanbin's and Junhoe's beds, place the mattresses on the floor next to each other and cover them in blankets but he did. Recently they've been soft to Donghyuk so no one complained, just letting him do whatever, like string fairy lights up in the kitchen for example. So now Junhoe sits slightly upright on his mattress, bathed in the moonlight hour, trying to glance over Donghyuk's head to see the time on the alarm clock. 4:48AM. Great.

Junhoe knows as much as the rest of them how hard it's been for Donghyuk to get a good night's sleep, and as he can relate more than anyone else he does he best to get up and out of the 'floor bed' (as Chanwoo so elegantly put it) and into the main living space. Then again he is practised in the art of making sure not to wake anyone else up when he decides that lying in his bed any longer is going to drive him crazy before he's whisked off into sleep. He knows how far to push the doors in order for them to stay silent, where to step so the floorboards don't creak. He's basically mastered being able to manoeuvre himself through the dorm in near silence.

He slowly pours himself a glass of water, leaning against the sink as he does, maybe he'll get lucky and be able to return to the soft sheets of the floor bed. He is still feeling slightly drowsy from the round of sleeping pills he had to take. As Junhoe stands in the kitchen, watching out the window as cars speed past, he doesn't count on the fact that Donghyuk doesn't like to be left alone often, himself forgetting that Hanbin isn't even home yet.

Donghyuk stretches his arm out, his hand expects to be hit with the warm body that is Junhoe, but instead hits nothing. Just an empty space. He can feel the crumpled way that the duvet lies, the careful consideration that took place in making sure that the sheets weren't taken off him when Junhoe got up.. Donghyuk places a firm hand on the bed to his left and levers himself up. The small amount of light that filters in from the window allows him to see that Junhoe disappeared from bed maybe a few minutes ago, and Hanbin never got into his side of the bed, his sheets still fully made. Donghyuk sleepily sighs before rubbing his eyes, pulling back the sheets and rising from his bed. Someone has to get Junhoe back in bed, tonight that someone is Donghyuk. Maybe if he's lucky Hanbin will return at the same time and he'll be able to sleep in the middle of them both.

Junhoe hears him before he sees him. Unlike himself, Donghyuk doesn't get up enough in the middle of the night so doesn't know of all the creaks and noises that flooring can make. He opens a door too wide, steps on that one wood plank on his way into the kitchen, throughly alerting Junhoe to the fact that he'll be joined soon.

When Donghyuk gets into the kitchen Junhoe can easily see that he is still partially in complete sleep mode. His hair lies fluffy and adequately messy on his bed, his clothes are ruffled and he's doing the weird shuffle walking that only him and Jiwon ever do. Junhoe just holds out one arm, letting Donghyuk slide in next to him. He wraps an arm around his waist, drawing him in tight.

Junhoe has never been big on lots of skinship and pet names, but when it's nearly 5AM and the whole group has been hit with unrelenting schedules for the past few weeks he might just let Jinhwan and Yunhyeong coddle him, whilst also doing the same to Donghyuk.

"Baby, what's got you up to late?" Junhoe asks softly, pandering to a very much still asleep Donghyuk.

"You know I don't sleep well without anyone," Donghyuk replies, his voice thick and heavy with sleep.

"Then I better get back to bed then, since Hanbin-hyung isn't back yet," Junhoe replies, running his hand over Donghyuk's hip.

Junhoe leads Donghyuk back to their room, taking slow steps so he doesn't fall out of that sleepy sense that he's currently entranced in. They nearly reach the door when Junhoe's ears prick to the code being entered again. He turns his head, hoping it's not one of their managers checking in on them (well, usually him) because they like to do that sometimes. Instead it's Hanbin, trailing inside, a thick hoodie wrapped around his body to keep him from the cold. He immediately notices the two of them, taking his shoes off quickly and joining them both. When he leans into Junhoe's side they both feel the cold of his fingers tracing over their warm skin.

"What are my maknae's doing up so late?" Hanbin quietly laughs, opening the door and ushering them both inside.

"Could ask you the same thing hyung," Donghyuk replies, letting Junhoe put him into bed.

"Hush child, someone has to make the music round here," Hanbin answers back while changing out of his clothes. Junhoe slips down beside a nearly asleep Donghyuk, propping his elbow up so he can rest his head on his hand.

"Don't work yourself too hard hyung," Junhoe sighs, playing with the dyed strands of Donghyuk's hair.

"Could say the same thing to you," Hanbin cheekily repeats, sliding himself down next to Donghyuk, "Sleep well Junhoe-ah,"

Junhoe doesn't bother replying, instead deciding to settle himself down next Donghyuk, who eagerly throws a leg over his own, making sure Junhoe is unable to slip back out of bed again. Donghyuk wraps his arms around Junhoe like some  
sort of octopus, but Junhoe finds himself too exhausted to care for once.

The dorm quietens, the only sounds that are heard are even and steady breathing. Junhoe slides quickly into sleep, letting Donghyuk embrace him, and allowing the stresses and anxieties of life wash over him. He might be a light sleeper, who gets disturbed frequently, but he's grateful that Donghyuk is the one to drag him back to bed, always.

5\. - Hanbin

No matter how much he drags the rest of the group through, Hanbin knows they will always follow him. It didn't take a lot for them to gain his complete trust. Jiwon and Jinhwan followed the quickest, stepping in line as the oldest hyung's, Yunhyeong not far behind. Donghyuk was naturally soft and squishy, easily trusting. Chanwoo was hesitant, bordering on the lines between. He was fresh and new to the company, hadn't struggled through WIN like the others. It didn't take long through, for him to see how fiercely Hanbin could lead a team, how much he deserved the title of **'Leader'**.

Junhoe was always the tricky one. Never faltering, never wavering. Yet after surviving MIX&MATCH Hanbin himself could see that glint of complete respect in Junhoe's eyes finally come through. From then on they all settled quite nicely together, regardless of the opposing personality types they all have.

Hanbin truly lead the team through thick and thin, the natural ups and downs.. But Junhoe's insomnia was sort of a big grey area in what he could deal with.

Hanbin was never good with coddling, preferring to leave that to Jinhwan and Yunhyeong, the labelled parents of the group. It just seemed like he was always absent when Junhoe had a breakdown, busy trying to make the music they'll survive on. He never really got too involved in it all, just getting informed about this and that by Jinhwan from time to time. He always thought it would be much better to just observe from afar on this one. That's until Junhoe practically forced him into it.

Junhoe always saw Hanbin as the strongest in their group, physically yes, but mostly importantly mentally. He was the one to take the brunt of the bad comments just to shield his maknaes from it. The one to let all of the group's wrongdoings and bad publicity fall straight onto his shoulders just so the others didn't have to bare the weight. He doesn't anymore, Jinhwan and Jiwon soon stepped in on that one, but they're a lot softer compared to him. They always will be. That's why when Junhoe starts to experience debilitating nightmares he thinks that only Hanbin will be able to handle them.

The first time it happens he stays quiet. The thoughts lurk in the shadows, constantly at the forefront of his mind. He thinks to tell nobody of the fact that he woke up in the middle of the night, his heart pounding out of his chest, scrambling to get the sheets off him. Stumbling over his own feet in a rushed attempt to get out of the room. How he didn't wake anyone else up he doesn't know, barely making it to sit on the sofa and sit there until morning, not allowing himself to fall back into the hellish dream space, no matter how much his body aches for sleep.

He expects it to just go away, for it to be a one time only thing that quickly becomes just another fleeting memory. It does not. He keeps it under wraps for weeks, deciding not to burden anyone else with his envisioned fears that play out every single night. He seems to actively avoid any suspicions as well, only waking at near early morning, creeping through the dorms at first light. He stays awake and let's the fear induced sweat drip down his temples until he hears one of his hyungs arise, claiming that he woke him up, not whatever night horrors he's been experiencing.

He doesn't mean to hide it, it just seems to happen and snowball until it's impossible to confess. It means he becomes a little sneakier with his movements around the other members. After seeing how their schedules have taken such a large effect on them, he decides to keep it from them all.

This continues for a couple weeks, everyone else too slammed by scheduling to notice the difference in Junhoe. Then it suddenly morphs into something he can't seem to handle anymore. Something that actually needs dealing with.

Junhoe jolts awake hours before usual, but he is so disoriented by the vivid nature of the nightmare that he startles, forgetting that Hanbin isn't home yet. He gets up anyway, forcing his shaking limbs out of bed and into the living room. His steps are clumsier than usual, occasionally sounding the small creaking noises from the floor. He makes his way over to the sofa easily regardless, his mind having completely memorised the layout of the dorm from countless sleepless nights he's had to endure.

He sits down on the sofa, burying his head into his shaking hands. His mind entertains the nightmare, looping it over and over, driving Junhoe insane. He ignores everything else around him, not even realising that Hanbin has returned back into the dorm until he feels a cold hand carefully placed on his own wrist. He startles, once again, at the sensation. He can feel tears running into his palms and only then suddenly snaps back into the reality of the night. Hanbin is crouching opposite him, definitely wondering why he is out in the living room, crying his eyes out, at around 2AM, for no apparent reason. He is also probably not going to just let this one go and leave him out here all night. No because this is him, Junhoe, who doesn't easily cry, especially at this time.

Junhoe quickly makes to pull away from Hanbin's soft grasp on his wrist, wanting a massive black hole to just swallow him up effortlessly. He just doesn't want to talk, at all. He's never had a way with words, and had always found opening up to people in absolutely any way the most awkward thing ever. He certainly did not want to be forced to spill his secrets to Hanbin, whilst crying, and he was most likely in no emotional state to do so.

Hanbin looked over at Junhoe, who was still silently sobbing, before getting back onto his feet. He had walked back from the company, their manager had already fallen asleep in his studio, and decided against waking him to drive them both home. Instead he walked the ten minutes home, savouring the time alone. He guessed, also hoped, the dorm would peaceful and silent when he got in, everyone being long gone into sleep. He was mostly right in fairness, the dorm was very quiet, and in every space excluding the living room, it was peaceful. He did not account for the fact that he'd walk in to see Junhoe in fits of silent tears, sat on the sofa, shaking like a leaf.

He guesses that he's a little worse for wear, considering how hunched over his back his, and the way his sobs get caught in his throat. His breathing sounds slightly crackly, a tell tale sign of congestion in his lungs. Hanbin isn't surprised that he's probably sick in the slightest. Their solo and group schedules have been extremely harsh on them all in the past few weeks, Junhoe especially. His insomnia seemed to act up even more at times of ridiculous stress and this was just another one of those incidents.

His immediate thought went to Junhoe, ignoring the prospect of his warm bed, that quite possibly had Donghyuk in it waiting for him, instead he dropped his bag by the door and crouched down in front of him. The boy was sobbing into his palms, but didn't seem to notice his appearance in the dorms whatsoever. Usually Junhoe was the best at noticing who came and went, his time it seems like his senses were quite dulled by whatever he was going through.

Hanbin wasn't really good at this sort of stuff, but considering he hadn't heard about anything new from Jinhwan over the last few weeks, he concludes that Junhoe has been hiding it. Whatever 'it' is. He just places a hand on Junhoe's wrist, hoping to calmly alert him that he's in his vicinity right now.. He is only mildly surprised when Junhoe tries to pull away from him completely, knowing that the boy doesn't easily give up his secrets. He soon brackets an arm to Junhoe's escaping side, pulling him back into the centre.

"Hey, hey, why are you crying?" Hanbin asks, keeping one hand on Junhoe's wrist and placing another on his knee.

"I-I," Junhoe tries to start, but his tears stop him from doing so.

"No, no, it's okay," Hanbin quickly replies, sitting down next to him as he does.

He soon realises that Junhoe isn't in the position to talk, so he just envelopes him into a hug, hoping that will help calm his tears. He's fairly sure Jinhwan woke up hearing shaky breaths and tears, but sees them both on the sofa and ends up leaving them be. Hanbin definitely doesn't want anyone else to wake up, Junhoe never liked any of them to crowd, especially when he was crying, so takes one of his hands and places it on the back of Junhoe's neck, hoping it will calm him down a little. They both sit there for a good twenty minutes more before Junhoe's breathing evens back out, changing from the shuddering breaths he was taking before. Hanbin doesn't let him go though, feeling that Junhoe wouldn't want to look at him if he decides to answer his original question.

"Is everything okay?" Hanbin starts up again, asking a different question this time round.

"Yeah, sorry," Junhoe apologises, his voice thin and brittle from lack of sleep.

"Why are you apologising baby?" Hanbin allows the term of endearment to slip out, knowing that Junhoe secretly enjoys hearing it.

"You should be asleep right now, I kept you up," Junhoe replies, his syllables slightly mixing together, one of the results of crying too hard.

"So should you!" Hanbin counteracts, flipping it right back around to him.

"I just-" Junhoe starts, cutting himself off pretty quickly.

"Just tell me, I don't have to tell Jinhwan or Yunhyeong if you don't want," Hanbin tries to get his trust, not letting the issue drop.

"I've been having nightmares,"

"For how long?" Hanbin almost doesn't want to know the answer.

"Five? Six weeks?"

"For that long and you didn't tell anyone?!"

"I'm sorry, really, I just didn't worry anyone anymore, we're so busy these days and I thought that this would be one less thing to think about,"

"Were they all similar, or?"

"They were mostly all about you guys all leaving me, sometimes randomly, other times it was planned,"

"Why, why did we all leave?"

"Because I'm a burden,"

"Yah, you're not a burden okay? You never were,"

Junhoe starts sobbing into Hanbin's shoulder again when he says that, all the repressed thoughts about the nightmares forcing their way back up.

"Hey hey hey, no need to start crying again, we all love you June-ah, we'd never ever leave you," Hanbin clings onto Junhoe's heaving body just a little bit tighter, letting the younger member cry.

Junhoe is still snivelling for a while more before either of them decide what to do. Hanbin knows that getting the both of them up and into bed without waking Donghyuk isn't going to happen, they've already woken up Jinhwan let alone waking up Donghyuk. Instead Hanbin just falls back into the soft sofa cushions, taking Junhoe down with him. He situates himself nicely on the arm rest, getting Junhoe comfortably laid on his chest. One of his arms winds around Junhoe's back, taking its place over his hip bone. Junhoe just slumps all over Hanbin's body, letting one arm rest lazily over his ribcage.

Hanbin doesn't have to wait long for Junhoe's breathing to steady, all worn out from crying way too hard before. He soon follows suit, guiding his other arm to rest with the hand placed protectively on Junhoe's hipbone, locking him in tight. He falls asleep easily, knowing that the solid weight on his chest is one of a peaceful Junhoe, not worry, buried deep.

He gets accidentally woken up by someone pulling a blanket over them both. When he feels small, nimble fingers thread through his very messy hair he knows that it's Jinhwan who's awake. He slowly opens his eyes to see the eldest perched on the remaining space of the arm rest, looking down on them both with a fond smile. Hanbin carefully cranes his neck to see the clock, 5:34AM, looking back at Jinhwan in surprise.

"What are you doing up so early?" Hanbin whispers, making sure that he doesn't jostle Junhoe whatsoever.

"Couldn't sleep well after waking up to Junhoe crying, I decided to give up about fifteen minutes ago," Jinhwan replies a look of worry plastering itself onto his face.

"Sorry about that hyung,"

"No it's no one's fault, I'm just glad Junhoe confessed whatever was troubling him to you,"

"His insomnia just gets worse and worse Jihan, I don't know what to do anymore,"

"That can wait, sleep a little more, we'll talk later,"

Hanbin doesn't bother arguing, he just lets Jinhwan's hands in his hair guide him back to sleep.

The next time he gets woken up its by Junhoe himself, shifting from his position on the sofa. Hanbin doesn't let him move, quickly opening his eyes.

"Hyung," Junhoe says, sounding absolutely miserable. His eyes are slightly bloodshot and watery, prompting him to blink a lot.

"Morning Junhoe-ah," Hanbin answers, his voice hinting at an edge of concern..

"Let me up," Junhoe asks, a gritty sound locked into his throat.

"Junhoe you sound and look terrible, go back to sleep, Yunhyeong's a kind enough soul to bring you breakfast here,"

"But you just woke me up,"

"Doze for a little bit then. Don't worry, I won't go,"

Not surprisingly Junhoe doesn't answer back, letting his head slip back down into his original position and closing his eyes once more. Hanbin knows he's not fully asleep, he can tell by his breathing, but he's satisfied, for now anyway. The sound of congestion starts up in his breathing again but Hanbin doesn't mention it for now, just caressing his hand over Junhoe's ribcage.

Junhoe is most likely sick and miserable and his ongoing nightmares are definitely going to need dealing with but as he gently drifts into the gap of consciousness, Hanbin knows that it'll all work out in the end.

6\. - Jinhwan

Junhoe has always been close to Jinhwan in a way that was inherently different to everyone else's relationships within the group. Ever since WIN and then MIX&MATCH they all got a lot closer, but the two of them remained the closest.

It seemed that Junhoe never had many problems opening up to Jinhwan, he did with the whole group though, which made life ten times harder for everyone. Neither of them really knew why, but they just clicked right off the bat, that shifted group dynamics as well, but they all got over that pretty quickly. Now they're all in a big polyamorous relationship and Junhoe couldn't be happier. He is still very glad that he can always go to Jinhwan though.

Junhoe is having a bad day. This is not the worst day he's ever had, but it is definitely not the best. Yunhyeong and Jiwon are both out of the country, Hanbin is holed up in the studio as per usual, Donghyuk has gone to visit nearby family and Chanwoo is hanging out with his idol friends. Even Jinhwan is out buying groceries for the group. All he wants to do is be cuddled to death by them all, but that seems pretty impossible right now, considering international country borders and everything.

He knows that Yunhyeong will be back in a day, Jiwon two, Jinhwan will literally be another couple of hours. Donghyuk, Chanwoo and Hanbin will all be home tonight, so he will be able to have a fifth of that group cuddle, but he still just wishes for a little more.

But it's one of **those** days where the nights can't come quick enough and the days drag on too long. Days of not loving yourself enough, just wanting the ground to swallow you up whole. Junhoe hasn't had one of these days in a while, probably because he's been sleeping better than usual, but it just takes one blip in the system to throw all that progress away. So he wallows in self deprecation for longer than he should, allowing himself to sit in front of the TV and just stare in a sleepy haze.

He doesn't realise how much time has passed until the code to the dorm gets punched in messily, Jinhwan following behind the noise, dragging bags of food behind him.

"Junhoe-ah?" Jinhwan calls from the doorway, letting the former maknae know that he's back.

He takes off his shoes, after getting all the bags through the doorway and into the hallway. He leaves them and rounds the corner to see a slightly spacey Junhoe on the sofa. He takes one look at the younger and knows that it's a bad day. Instead of asking him to help, which he usually does, he just turns the radio up a little louder and puts away every single food item himself, not wanting to make Junhoe do it.

Afterwards he goes over to the dazed boy, crouching in front of him. He places both of his hands on Junhoe's slightly cold cheeks, making sure he has his attention.

"Junhoe? Junhoe-ah? Are you alright?" Jinhwan tenderly asks, hoping that less of these days appear.

"Hmm? Me? Yeah yeah, I'm fine hyung,"

"Are you sure?" Jinhwan replies, giving him a questioning look to top it off..

"Maybe,"

"Bad day?"

Junhoe just crumbles at that, taking his head into his own hands instead of Jinhwan's. He refuses to cry, he's done enough of that in the past few months..

"I'm taking that as a yes then," Jinhwan speaks softly, placing his hands back over Junhoe's rough ones.

Junhoe doesn't reply, just sitting uncomfortably on the sofa, cloaked by the darkness from his hands. Then he doesn't quite know what happens, Jinhwan's warmth disappears, leaving him cold. The kettle boils in the kitchen, the DVD player gets set up, and soon Junhoe gets a scalding cup of tea pressed into his hands. Jinhwan flops down into the sofa, the remote tucked into his arm.

"Choose what movie you want," Jinhwan speaks, sitting Junhoe back into the sofa.

"I don't mind,"

"Are you sure, you're quite picky,"

"Choose whatever,"

Jinhwan decides on some Korean movie because he knows that Junhoe isn't going to have the attention span to read subtitles along with the movie itself. He grabs the blanket that he chucked close, throwing it over the both of them.. Junhoe carefully sips his tea beside him, trying to concentrate on the movie in front of him. He knows that he's gonna give out soon, he can feel the exhaustion from the last few days creep back up on him, plus the fact that Jinhwan darkened the room doesn't help him.

It only takes about forty minutes for Junhoe to be completely out, a cold cup of tea remains in his hand. Jinhwan just smiles endearingly, taking the cup and putting it on the table. He just covers Junhoe completely with the blanket and leaves the movie on, going around the dorm and doing and chores he's been neglecting for a while. He texts Hanbin while he's at it.

'Do I qualify for least amount of time Junhoe's fallen asleep in? Forty minutes baby,'

'Impressive! I'll actually be back home sooner than expected, I finished a lot earlier,'

'That's great! Do you know what time Chanwoo and Donghyuk are home?'

'Donghyuk said around 8:00 to me, I think about 11:00 for Chanwoo??'

'I'll see you in like an hour?'

'See you,'

Jinhwan moves back into the living room, settling down beside Junhoe. The movie is long done, the starting credits playing over and over again. He just changes the movie to one he's been meaning to watch for a while but hasn't had the time. Hanbin will probably join him anyway when he gets back, but at least he'll get to watch it with him, together. That'd be nice.

Jinhwan is slightly dropping off when Hanbin gets back, his eyes closing every so often. He gets prematurely woken by a warm hand on his shoulder, which is Hanbin letting him know that he's here now.

"How long has he been out?" Hanbin asks, cocking his head to Junhoe as he sits down beside Jinhwan.

"A good three hours now," Jinhwan yawns, stretching his limbs out.

"Great, what have you been doing?"

"I did some chores that I've been putting off,"

"You look pretty tired, why don't you take a nap?"

"I probably won't sleep well tonight,"

"You should take that chance,"

Jinhwan doesn't have it in him to disagree, instead just placing his head on Hanbin's shoulder and falling asleep right then and there.

He wakes up to "Jinhwan-hyung," and someone shaking his shoulder. It's Junhoe who's stood over him, his hair messy from sleep. "Hanbin-hyung ordered takeaway," he goes onto say, which makes Jinhwan get up pretty easily.

Donghyuk is back, already seated with Hanbin. Jinhwan rubs the sleep from his eyes and sits down next to Junhoe, starting to eat after he does. After they finish Donghyuk washes up, leaving the rest of them to choose whatever drama they want to watch on the TV. Jinhwan sits on Junhoe's lap, his head perched on his clavicle. Hanbin spreads himself all over the sofa, leaning his legs on the rest of Junhoe's available lap space. Donghyuk soon joins them, slitting  
in beside the backboard of the sofa and Hanbin.

"Comfortable?" Hanbin asks before he presses play.

They all hum in various amounts of agreement, focusing on the drama in hand. It's really not long before Donghyuk drops off, he lasts a good twenty minutes. Hanbin is asleep after another half and hour, leaving Jinhwan and Junhoe to finish off the episode they were watching.

"Feeling better now?" Jinhwan whispers in an effort not to wake anyone up.

"Yeah, thanks, hyung,"

"No problem maknae,"

"For the last time I'm not the maknae,"

Junhoe will always have bad days, that's a given. But he knows he can let Jinhwan in on them no matter what.

7\. - OT7

Junhoe rarely forgets how much he appreciates and loves his team members. They are constantly caring for him in a way that demands attention, not letting him forget at all. He does however remember life without iKON stuck to his side, knowing that he'd never ever want to go back to that again. So he takes their love and attention with acceptance, even if they go a bit overboard on some days.

"Junhoe-yah, come on wake up, we've got that concert today,"

"Like five more minutes hyung," Junhoe replies to whichever hyung is calling for him, rolling over and shutting his eyes tightly.

"You've been saying that for a good half an hour, if you get up now you can sleep in the car,"

"Can I actually?" Junhoe croaks, his voice not yet warmed up.

"Yeah, get up and dressed,"

That actually gives Junhoe an incentive to get up now. Rarely does Junhoe actually sleep whilst travelling, either it hurts his neck too much, or he can't get to sleep in the first place. Plus unless they're all on long haul flights/road trips, Jinhwan doesn't see the point in messing up Junhoe's regular sleep cycle with half an hour in the car on the way to a music show. Mostly Junhoe thanks him for this because it means he's usually so tired after a long day that he falls straight into sleep without worry, other days, like this, he doesn't.

So as Junhoe finishes slipping into his hoodie and jeans, Hanbin calls order, rallying them together. They all squeeze into the car, the sweet mention of breakfast when they arrive as Junhoe slides right back off to sleep again, smushed in Yunhyeong's arms.

It's sort of a weird day, Junhoe is in a good mood, even though he is extremely exhausted. Usually when he's like this he's grouchy and irritated, snapping at nearly everyone that comes near him. Today he's just more spacey, cuddly, attaching himself to most of the members with ease. Right now they wait, but Jinhwan won't let him fall fully asleep until they're on the way back, so Junhoe is sat next to Hanbin, his face lent into his shoulder.

"We've only got another hour to wait," Hanbin reminds, dragging his hand up and down Junhoe's back.

"Who's up before us?" Junhoe asks, his speech slightly slurred.

"MONSTA X-hyungs," Hanbin replies.

"Okay okay,"

"You know, if you sleep for a little bit, I'll make sure Jinhwan-hyung doesn't find out,"

"I love you hyung," Junhoe replied, mushy, letting his eyes shut close for the first time.

"Love you too June-ah," Hanbin says with affection.

At one point Donghyuk also takes a nap on his other shoulder before the hour is up. And Jinhwan does notice that Junhoe is sleeping, but decides not to wake him up, still shooting Hanbin a look regardless. They don't get much sleep though, having to get ready for their stage much sooner than expected.

Junhoe leans against a wall, his members stood around him. Multiple stage hands and idols walk around them, making the already small space backstage just that little bit smaller. They all put their hands in the centre of their little circle and just look at each other for a while.

"One, two, three, iKON, let's go!" Hanbin shouts, starting off their cheers.

Spilt seconds pass, and they're on stage, performing in front of thousands. Yet it only seems like seconds to pass and they're waving goodbye, walking down from the stage. Junhoe is floored, his knees nearly buckling. Yunhyeong catches his arm, pulling him upright. Jiwon helps, clearing the pathway for them both.

"Hyung?" Junhoe asks into the wind, not really caring which one of his hyung's responds.

"Hmm?" Yunhyeong is the one who replies, helping Junhoe to their waiting room.

"When are we going home?"

"Soon baby, soon," Yunhyeong responds, sitting him down next to Chanwoo.

Even though Junhoe is half conscious on a waiting room sofa, sat in probably uncomfortable ripped jeans and the weirdest top and jacket combination, they leave him be, letting Chanwoo deal with his ramblings. The rest get changed, shedding their stage clothes, and getting back into warm hoodies and comfortable sweatpants.

"Junhoe-ah, come on, time to go now," Jiwon alerts him, picking up from the sofa.

Junhoe sleepily walks beside Jiwon, letting him guide him into the car. Hanbin gets to sit up front, Jinhwan, Donghyuk and Junhoe squished into the back.. Chanwoo, Jiwon and Yunhyeong get the middle ground, watching everyone around them gradually fall asleep, before being the last three to do so.

They all get delivered to the dorm, mostly carrying Junhoe into said dorm. Luckily one of their managers stopped to get takeaway whilst they were asleep, which is now sitting on the table waiting for them. Donghyuk settles him and the other two maknaes on the sofa, letting the hyung's take shower in turns.

"Maknae-ah, come here," Donghyuk says, opening out his arms to accommodate. Both of the maknae's lean into his arms, neither caring that they were called over by 'maknae'.

Jinhwan walks over at one point, rubbing his hair dry with a towel. He brings over the cutlery, also grabbing pillows to sit on. The other three join quickly too, sitting in a mini pile in front of the TV. They pass around cold takeaway, eating while watching an old rerun of some popular kdrama they didn't have time to watch the first time around.

Junhoe leans against Donghyuk after putting his plate down. His smile is content, the way Donghyuk has his hand wrapped around his back, and Chanwoo's arm draped over them both, making him happy. He doesn't watch the TV, instead watching them. They all almost seem to breathe in unison, taking deep, calm breaths. At one point he gets moved from the warmth, not really paying much attention to what's happening. The next thing he knows is that he's led on Hanbin's chest, Yunhyeong situated behind him. The rest of the members sleep around him, only him and Hanbin are really awake.

"Thanks hyung," Junhoe whispers sleepily, letting his eyes shut slowly.

He really means it. Everyone has days where they are over tired, Junhoe is definitely no stranger to them. But they all handle it so well, each knowing that Junhoe needs. He adores them all, not knowing that he'd do without them. Even as the days get harder and harder to cope with, he **knows** they'll stand close by him, helping in every way that they can.

"For what June?" Hanbin whisper replies, smiling as he threads a hand through Junhoe's hair.

**"Everything."**

**Author's Note:**

> please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoy!! i hope you did!!!


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